Sick

As a young, strapping, single, youth pastor, I hate being sick. I hate being sick period...even when I wasn't in this position of leadership. But here is why I hate it even more now:

First, people feel the need to mother me and/or tell me what I need to do or not do......all the time! Now, if you are one of my good friend's or a family member, I tolerate it. But these people do not know me that well. It's like certain people flock toward those who are sick or in pain. It's almost like their drug...they have to be around it. But I did not ask for people's opinions or diagnoses or thoughts on what I am doing wrong; NOR do I like people mothering me. My mom is the only one who get's to do that; I like it when she does it, not those I barely know (to those of you who think this is an attack on you, I GUARANTEE IT IS NOT. I'M JUST VENTING).
Second, I realize how much I miss my family. I miss my mom and her insight and her help. I am a total momma's boy and since moving to Cincinnati I realize how much of a momma's boy I really am!! It's bad!! And oh so good :-)

Anyways, to steal from Mark Driscoll, I'm venting on this here guy because I really can't afford therapy; this blog will just have to do. <3

A lot on the Noggin'

I havn't been sleeping too well the last week or so. I have not fallen asleep as fast as I usually do, especially since I've been exhausted nearly every night this last month, and I have not been sleeping in as long as I usually do. I am going to attribute it all to my mind pulling a "Lightning Mcqueen" the last few weeks. Yes, my mind has been moving at an alarming pace...Thinking about anything and everything. I am natuarlly a "thinker" so I am not too frustrated (yet) but trying to control mind, which is Biblical. Too much thinking can be unhealthy, just as not thinking at all is detrimental, and I want to have a healthy balance. The mind is truly a battlefield!!

So, this is what I did this morning when I got into the office: I usually spend my first hour and a half in the scriptures, worship, devotionals, solitude, journaling, etc. However, this morning I grabbed my USC Trojans pillow off a chair, layed down in the middle of my floor, and rested. This was unique for me since I am so driven, feeling the need to never waste time, to keep busy...to always be doing something. But I was so tired this morning, I felt the need to just "rest in God"; to lay down and hit the PAUSE button before I got started on this busy Wednesday. I didn't fall completely asleep, but that was not the goal. The goal was to do no-thing...to Rest and ask God to refresh me. The goal was to quiet the mind, to lay down every part of me, not just the physical part though I did symbolically. It was truly different for me and will take some getting used to. However, if our minds are a battlefield (and they are) I feel this may be a good exercise for me to participate in every once in a while in order to recalibrate and refresh my thinking. God knows I want to serve Him, but sometimes I am unhealthy in the process of being a follower of Jesus. God, quiet our minds. May we find rest in You.

Slacker

I am a slacker!! I realize that it has been almost two months since I posted last! I figured that is unacceptable, therefore I am going to step my game up.

Enough of that. Something cool happened to me yesterday. I was exiting a typical study session at my Starbucks and as I got into my car a man came up to my window asking for some help. His car ran out of gas and he needed a couple gallons to get to his wife who had his wallet and money. I gave him a 5 and he was on his way. I kid you not, NOT 30 seconds later...AS I'M DRIVING AWAY TO MY APARTMENT, a general manager of TGI Friday's flags me down. He is stranded and needs to get to his car, which is in the shop, a couple exits up the freeway. I have him hop in and help him with the situation! That has NEVER happened to me in my life! Within literally a couple of minutes I was able to help a two stranded guys. I do not believe in coincidences and Jesus' words "...I was a stranger and you welcomed me...as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me" were playing in my mind throughout the whole experience.
I now pray every morning: "God, reveal yourself to me today. Help me to be others-centered and give me an opportunity to show your love." ...I believe He did just that and will continue to do so.

I bit the bullett

I don't like Twitter. I think it is narcissistic in reality and gives people the ability to NOT be socially active, creating socially inept human beings. This is where our society is going...we have complete online worlds, everything you need to be done without leaving your home to interact with any human being. We even have automatic machine cashiers at the grocery store and drive up atm's where you don't have to get out of your car and brush shoulder's with people. That would be inconvenient!!! Therefore, I believe Twitter to be a part, NOT the only reason, of this social breakdown in our digital age. BUT....as a student ministries pastor, it is Great!! What a great way to quickly throw out mass announcements, prayer requests, encouraging words, thoughts on last night's teaching, reminders of upcoming events, and so on. With that said, I bit the bullett and signed myself up, despite my feelings about it. I figure that the idea/challenge is to utilize the technology in order to create social interaction and sweet action community. This is the challenge and I think my youth ministry and I are up for it.

The Distant God part 4

Picking up where I left off a few days ago, the third thing I do is:

3. Lean on God's promises.

God's Word is filled with promises (read the Psalms especially)! When circumstances are tough; when God feels far, I read the Scriptures and concentrate on the promises: He will never leave nor forsake me; God is love; we are more than conqueror's; the Holy Spirit is our helper; God desires to use me; vengeance is His; forgiveness equals freedom. Things like these are ingrained in Scripture! Sometimes, I have to admit, I force myself to read The Word when i am down and God feels....well, when I can't "feel" Him. That's when you see what you are really made of. When you DO things you DON'T "wanna" do. Sometimes we have to "SUCK IT UP" and pray, read, meditate, Sing songs of praise, when we least desire to. I have found that many times God shows up when we do something we don't want to.

When God feels a million miles away, focus on His promises....even if all you feel is apathy and don't want to do a thing.

The Distant God part 3

The Second thing I do when I feel God is a million miles away is:

2. Remember God's Character.

It is easy to forget about the nature of God and WHO HE IS when we don't understand why (or why things aren't) things are going a certain way. We can forget that God is love, He is faithful, He operates outside of time, Vengeance is HIS and HIS alone, His timing is perfect, His forgiveness is genuine, He sent Jesus to be an example to us, suffer, and DIE for us, He states that He will never leave us, He is all-powerful, nothing goes unnoticed with Him, and the list goes on. We can look just about anywhere in scripture and find something descriptive of God's nature.

I often open up the scriptures and just read cool stories of how God rescued people like Daniel, David, Esther, Job, JOSEPH, Moses, Paul, and others. These stories point toward God's nature...His character. I am encouraged because, I believe, if God did it then, who's to say that He can't intervene in my life and situation now? Why can't God show up for me? I am encouraged to know that God has a pretty good track record with keeping His promises; I am encouraged when I shift my focus off of God's distance and onto HIS NATURE. Which is more true: God has forgotten me (nowhere in scripture), OR God is love (in scripture)?

The Distant God part 2

The first thing I do when God feels distant:

1. Hold nothing back.

I let God know how I am feeling. Sometimes I am mad at "His silence" and I let Him know it by "yelling". I know that this is not a particularly popular thing to do and is often times looked down on in the Christian world. But, I look at a lot of The Psalms and notice how frustrated David was; how mad He was at what seemed like God's absence. So, He wrote out, sang, and vented his frustrations. God can take it. He understands that we are emotional beings. I think He created us that way. I think it is better to vent your frustrations at God than yelling and being a jerk to a friend, family member, or stranger......the dog may be good though. They usually just wag their tail while staring at you with their tongue sticking out.
Anyway, I often feel better when venting my frustrations to God. At times, when I am done complaining, that is when God speaks to me. Furthermore, these times tend to shape your character and really reveals a lot about yourself. Do I believe God is big enough to yell at for not showing up? If He is big enough to yell at, do I believe that He is big enough TO SHOW UP? Do I have too many distractions in my life that are keeping me from hearing His voice? What are my motives in regard to my prayers? Questions like these often come to mind when I am frustrated with God. I realize we are all different, but sometimes I just have to authentically let loose and tell God how frustrated I am at His apparent distance.

The Distant God pt. 1 (Intro.)

God feels far sometimes. He feels a million miles away. I am finding this to be a common feeling, especially amongst people who are minister's in some capacity. However, I believe if you call yourself a follower of Jesus, we are going to feel like God left and hasn't come back for a while. Let's face it, God feels long gone sometimes.

This morning at the beginning of my time with the Father, I said, in an audible voice, "I feel like you are sooo far from me God. And I don't know why...but you just feel so distant." With that said, I put on some worship music to try and break through this barrior. I continued to worship and read the scriptures before I opened up my devo (Going through Purpose Driven Life again. I try and do it once a year). Still struggling while at the same time chewing on Jesus's beautiful prayer in John 17, I opened up PDL. Lo and behold, the title of today's reading states, "When God Seems Distant." HAHA!! All I could do is smile. For the next couple of posts (thank you Perry Noble) I am going to talk about the top four things we should do when God feels a million miles away. This was very helpful to me today and though God still feels a little far, I am optimistic.
I conclude on this note: Our feelings are deceiving. We are emotional beings and can at times allow our emotions to dictate what is truth rather than Scripture. Let's not let our feelings (no matter how real they may be) get the best of us. In hard times...during, as St. John of the Cross called it, "the dark night of the soul", remember God hasn't gone anywhere, no matter how we feel (John 14:17-18; Hebrews 13:5.).

Cincinnati and reconciliation

Yesterday my lead pastor, boss, and friend Brad Rosenberg walked into my office with a little bit if "franticness" in his step and asked me to drive to University Hospital with him for a visit. University is right next to the University of Cincinnati (obvious, i know) which is located right next to one of the most dangerous areas of Cincinnati called "Over the Rhine." I have driven through this place a couple of times but yesterday, as I was driving and talking with my boss, I was struck by a dichotomy. While going up a street called Vine, we pass through some dangerous neighborhoods: a women strung out and looking for drugs, a car parked at a stop sign with a guy dealing, people out on their porches packing heat, cops patrolling, etc. As we drive up around a bend toward the hospital, things start looking really nice: young professionals walking around, college students moving from one class to another, mom's walking with children, elderly out for an afternoon stroll, etc. What a dichotomy within only a few miles' stretch!!! I have never really experienced the whole "Black neighborhood", "White trash neighborhood", "Latin neighborhood", and so on. I grew up with everything being a melting pot. The only time segregation occured was because of the gangs.
So, I prayed for a new heart to pump out an overwhelming desire to be a part of racial reconciliation. We need it!!! Every city needs it and the Church (notice the capital "C") must be in the center of the battle. Jesus mingled, befriended, welcomed, and reached out to Samaritans, Greeks, Romans, Jews, women, children, young, and old. Shouldn't we do the same? Shouldn't we be apart of bridging the gap between different cultures, social classes, economic status ethnic, gender, intellect, etc.? I think so. I now digress.

"Hope Fair"

Last night our church conducted its first annual "Hope Fair." We put on what could be understood as a "mini Convoy of Hope", in which we provided dental exams, haircuts, carnival rides, hearing exams, health screenings, giveaways, hot dogs, a prayer tent, bags of groceries, and much more. It was so rewarding for us to see all of the families come and get served by the Church. I am convinced that events like these is close to the heart of God. We are to be a Hospital for the hurting not a country club for the healthy (Mark 2:17). Upward of 500 people came to this event and heard a Gospel presentation while at the same time having their needs met. I look forward to seeing many of the same people sitting in our seats this Sunday morning being fed the Scriptures!!

Words Like Honey

Last night we continued in the series "Drop Some Knowledge", by talking about the power of our words. In many aspects of our lives, we naturally attempt to treat the symptoms of our behavior rather than the root cause of our behavior. The same goes for our words. King Solomon tells us that a wise heart produces kind words that are sweet to the bones and healthy for our bodies. We realized that whatever comes out of our mouths (A symptom) is a direct result of what we contain in our hearts. Jesus proved this point in Matthew chapter 12:34-37 (I encourage you to go and read it for yourself. It's good stuff). There is no doubt in my mind that, just like food and drink, whatever goes into us will come out; whatever we take in through our eyes and ears will manifest itself through our mouth. Therefore, the challenge for us is this: Who or what has my heart? Who does it belong to? When dealing with our words and the life or destruction that we speak with them, it is essential to remember that our hearts are the issue. A wise heart and pleasant words are inextricably connected. It would do us well to never forget that.

iPhone.....

I just purchased an iPhone a couple days ago and I absolutely LOVE it!!! After having my other phone for nearly four years, it kind of feels weird. But it is safe to say that I don't think i'll ever go back. iPhone users...we are spoiled.

Parents Night

I love parents!! This last Wednesday night we conducted our first "Parents Night" to inform the parents of our teenagers. This was an opportunity for them to hear me speak to them from my heart about the youth ministry. We catered in some delicious spaghetti and bread sticks and had a Question and Answer session facilitated by one of my students. It was a great time, and for my first time ever doing this I feel it went off well.

I love parents!! Did I mention that already? It is so tough to be a parent, especially nowadays! It is a great challenge and youth pastors often make it more difficult. It is my belief that part of being a youth pastor is coming alongside parents and helping them with their kids...NOT telling them HOW to parent or blowing them off or ignoring them or never engaging them (Getting the point?) or whatever else. I believe that parents are our greatest asset in youth ministry. There are a couple of things I am working on right now with parents and I thought I would share (The ABC's):

1. Authentically Listen. Give the parents a voice. Many times parents DO NOT feel they have a voice in their kids' lives, and it only adds to their frustration when we don't listen to them too. Therefore, provide avenues for their voice to be heard: Email out a quarterly questionnaire, take a parent out to coffee and ask for their opinion on specific events, and or set up a parent advisory team where they provide input on anything from administrative stuff to midweek gatherings to large events. The sky is the limit. Yes, we will not always agree, especially on methodology. However, that does not negate the necessity of giving a listening ear.
   
2. Build Friendship. Sure, not every parent is going to be your friend and it will look different for every parent who does end up being a friend. BUT, it is good to be friends with some of the parents of teens. There is something refreshing about engaging parents in friendship. In the Context of friendship, they can be a rock solid support, a safe place for you, and give sound advice (which is taken completely different when coming from a friend!).
   
3. Clearly Communicate. Most parents just want to be informed. They want to know what is going on. This is a GOOD THING!!! It means they care for the well-being of their child...just like the youth pastor and leaders do! Therefore, Clearly Communicating Consistently is crucial. Send out email updates, postcards, bulletin announcements, etc. Most parent to youth pastor problems occur because effective communication does not take place.
   
4. Develop Parent Leaders. Plug parents in to leadership!! I am quickly finding that some parents (NOT all or most) will make great youth leaders. At the very least, they are great assets in helping with specific events, fund raising and/or administrative help. We can always use the help!

I know I am not an expert, but considering last Wednesday night, I thought it beneficial to jot down some of what I was thinking.

Thoughts? Comments?

God and Structure

I am in the middle of reading Exodus right now and it hit me: it took time, patience, effort and energy for God to lay down structure, a foundation, and expectations for Israel. We don't immediately have the ten commandments. Passover doesn't occur in Genesis let alone all the other Jewish holidays. Israel does not have their land nor cities until way later in the nations' history. This all took time; God demonstrates incredible patience and diligence when working with His people. That is amazing to me! We live in such an impatient got-to-have-it-yesterday culture that we forget great things take time to develop. I'm talking about Delayed Gratification. We can apply it to any area of our lives: youth ministry, relationships, sex, money, stuff, work, entertainment...anything. For instance, instead of going to get me some fast food, I "pump the brakes" (as one of my students says when referencing some one to slow it down speedracer), take the time, put in some effort and energy, and cook myself a nice healthy meal in the ol' apartment. I am trading something fast and easy that tastes good but isn't that healthy for me, for something that is Best even though it takes a little more time and effort. This must be applied to every part of our lives. I am learning, especially as a new Student Ministries Pastor, that Great things come to those who take one step at a time; do first things first. Sure, it's hard work. Sure, it takes time and patience to lay down structure. Sure, we hate delaying. But in the end, it will be well worth it. God ended up laying the foundation for people all around the globe who call themselves Christ-followers. Imagine what we could accomplish in our communities if we allow Him to guide us into the same practices. I love the old Bill Gates quote (which by the way my Lead Pastor and I quote for me almost daily): "Most people over-estimate what they can achieve in two years and under-estimate what they can accomplish in ten."

I believe God desires to do some great things in our lives and areas of leadership and/or work. They key is to take it one step at a time. We need not get too far ahead of ourselves. God doesn't...AND HE IS GOD! Therefore we shouldn't either. Patience and diligence are key components to success and greatness. I Now Digress.

Ever since returning from a youth minister's conference, I have gone on an accidental "fast" from blogging. Things have been sooooo crazy busy around here I have not even had time to read any blogs let alone write in mine. I am finding that it is so easy to get caught in a whirlwind of tasks that you can forget your priorities (I'm not saying blogging is priority per se). It's easy to let those things that are important slip through the cracks. I am working on avoiding this type of fo paw and taking measures to Do the Important things...that which REALLY matters. First things first and one thing at a time. I am constantly reminding myself of this.

Any ideas? Thoughts?

National Youth Workers Conference

In a couple of hours I will be leaving for Group's National Youth Workers Conference in Columbus Ohio, which is hosting names like: Jeanne Mayo, Mike DeVries, Jim Burns, Bo Boshers, Kay Warren, and of course Doug Fields. I AM FLIPPIN' STOKED OUT OF MY MIND!!! I am so blessed to have a Lead Pastor and a board who allows me to participate in things like this! I am taking three of my leaders with me and we are going to just soak it all in. I am PUMPED! Did I mention that?

Anyway, I think with a great conference like this, it is easy to walk away with 50 different ideas on how to run a youth ministry, build a team, and change your community. But I think the key is not to walk away from something like this and try to implement those 50 or 15 or 10.....not even 5 things you gather. I think the idea, at least this is what is going on in my head, is to walk away with 1 or 2, maximum 3, things that will really work right now; that will help our youth ministry take that NEXT STEP forward. It's all about baby steps in life and the same goes in any ministry capacity. I have to tell myself this all the time because I am so driven and vision/goal oriented, I get way ahead of myself. I think many of us leaders can relate to this. Therefore, my mindset is to walk away with just a couple of ideas to implement, and I will file away the rest for another season. With that, I now digress....

Thick Skin

I have been really struggling the past few days with this idea of having "thick skin and a soft heart" in regard to ministry. I have realized over the past couple of weeks that my "skin" is not as tough as I'd like it to be nor as it needs to be. So, How DO I develop toughness yet keep the softness of my heart? I have yet to discover anything groundbreaking and within the past few days have been praying vivaciously for some help in this area. I Do not know how some people do it. This is probably my most vulnerable blog ever posted, but I feel that so many of us struggle with insecurities, authentically loving people unconditionally, serving God, pleasing people, pleasing God, doing things we do not want to do, doing what is right despite opposition, and being the type of leader who doesn't let certain things phase him/her, all at the same time. These are tough things to balance and work through; at times, difficult dragons to slay. I guess, as Mark Driscoll says, since I can't afford theropy this will have to do for now :-)

Thoughts?

Half Awake But Mostly Asleep.

I am a light sleeper. At the same time, I talk in my sleep (ask any of my past roommates and they would be happy to tell you some pretty interesting stories about my conversations while sleeping). So, sometimes I will wake myself up because I am talking too loud in my sleep or whatever. BUT, last night I added so pizaz. Have any of you awaken in the middle of the night but were still technically "asleep"? Welp, all I remember is waking myself up, due to excessive dialogue with myself, and, while looking at my clock, popped up out of bed (all the time continuing to mumble to myself). I noticed that I did not set my alarm, so I walked over to my clock muttering something about me being irresponsible and an idiot...the time was around 3:15. I turned my alarm on and fell back asleep muttering something about my Dad and Brother.....I think. Here is the thing...MY DAY OFF is Monday!! So, my alarm went off, WAY TOO EARLY, and Sean Was NOT a Happy Camper!!! I barely remember what I was doing and I am still trying to make some sense of what I was dreaming and mumbling about. I think so many things are going on in my mind and so much work needs to be done, I do weird things like this. Who knows. Good news is I was able to fall back asleep for a couple more hours.

Sharing Your Faith

Last night we capped off our two part teaching on how NOT to share your faith, and HOW TO share Jesus with others. I thought it beneficial to post the seven practical methods to share Jesus with others we mentioned last night. AND NO, going door to door with tracts was NOT one of them :-)

• Romans Road--We are all dirty rotten sinners and, compared to Jesus, fall short of "good enough" (Romans 3:23). We deserve death NOT life (Romans 6:23) but Jesus died for our sin (Romans 5:8) and if we admit our shortcoming and turn from our sin (Romans 10:9-13) we will live in freedom with Jesus now and forever (Romans 8:38-39).
• ABC's-- A: accept that Jesus is who He said He is. B: believe (or trust) in Him. C: confess your sin to Him and walk toward Him.
• Three D's-- Develop friendships, Discover stories, and Determine next steps. This is always centered around authentically LOVING people, finding out about them, and helping them take one step closer to Jesus.
• Random Acts of Kindness-- Everybody has the capability of BEING kind to someone, doing the very things Jesus did to others who least expected or deserved it.
• Share Your Story-- Nothing is more powerful than your story. People cannot argue away what you have experienced. Share Your Story.
• Use Me-- Our hope is that everyone who walks through our doors will walk out different than when they came in. We will teach JESUS every time we meet. Invite people to events, growth groups, and our mid-week gatherings. We will teach Scripture.

Welp, there they are. Some of these work for certain people, and some for others. And there are some methods that we did not discuss last night...and I'm sure those will work well for others too. The objective last night was to encourage everyone to take a step forward with Jesus and begin telling others about Jesus, our Master and Leader.

To Write a Book From the perspective of Satan part Final!

WOW. What an intense read. Lewis made the spiritual realm come to life; it became real, not just a concept that gets talked about only once a year. Lewis pulls no punches. He opens our eyes up to what a conversation between spiritual beings, who care not a lick about us, would look like. The demons' soul desire is to see a man and his woman fall out of faith with their Savior.

However, In the end Screwtape and Wormwood lose their man to THE Man (Jesus), whom they call "the Enemy". Every time I read that phrasing of God, "the Enemy", I had to remind myself that Lewis is writing from the perspective of a veteran demon. It could get very confusing, because everything I perceive as being "good" is portrayed as evil or "bad", yet still some things that I see as being beneficial to MY faith Screwtape view's being beneficial as well! Therefore, I get the feeling that I should watch it with those things that I see as good, lest they be twisted in a way that honors myself (and Satan) rather than God! Oh my me, it gets a little confusing Eh? Here's the point...I think: Any "thing" that is good can be used for bad. There are plenty of good things out in our world that have been twisted for evil, inflicted pain, and destroyed lives. For example, One of the obvious things, a topic Screwtape tries to exploit throughout the letters, is SEX. We have torn down the concept of "covenant" and "boundaries"; taking a good thing...A GOD THING, and used it wrongly. We have taken a legitimate desire, SEX (i like putting that word in all caps. it is fun), and tried to fulfill this desire in an illegitimate way, pre-marital SEX :-) and pornography SIMPLY to name a few of the array of distortions. The Theme of this book is simply this: Satan's pursuit is to take what is good and twist it enough to where we forget all about the God who tuely cares for us. Outside of complete surrender to my Holy, good God, anything can destroy me, whether it be a good thing are not!

The question I now am trying to ask myself, courtesy of a one Mark Batterson (check out his blog. he's got something to say): Is this a GOD THING. Just some food for thought I guess. If you haven't read the book, i recommend it. Giving it an: A.