Parents Night

I love parents!! This last Wednesday night we conducted our first "Parents Night" to inform the parents of our teenagers. This was an opportunity for them to hear me speak to them from my heart about the youth ministry. We catered in some delicious spaghetti and bread sticks and had a Question and Answer session facilitated by one of my students. It was a great time, and for my first time ever doing this I feel it went off well.

I love parents!! Did I mention that already? It is so tough to be a parent, especially nowadays! It is a great challenge and youth pastors often make it more difficult. It is my belief that part of being a youth pastor is coming alongside parents and helping them with their kids...NOT telling them HOW to parent or blowing them off or ignoring them or never engaging them (Getting the point?) or whatever else. I believe that parents are our greatest asset in youth ministry. There are a couple of things I am working on right now with parents and I thought I would share (The ABC's):

1. Authentically Listen. Give the parents a voice. Many times parents DO NOT feel they have a voice in their kids' lives, and it only adds to their frustration when we don't listen to them too. Therefore, provide avenues for their voice to be heard: Email out a quarterly questionnaire, take a parent out to coffee and ask for their opinion on specific events, and or set up a parent advisory team where they provide input on anything from administrative stuff to midweek gatherings to large events. The sky is the limit. Yes, we will not always agree, especially on methodology. However, that does not negate the necessity of giving a listening ear.
   
2. Build Friendship. Sure, not every parent is going to be your friend and it will look different for every parent who does end up being a friend. BUT, it is good to be friends with some of the parents of teens. There is something refreshing about engaging parents in friendship. In the Context of friendship, they can be a rock solid support, a safe place for you, and give sound advice (which is taken completely different when coming from a friend!).
   
3. Clearly Communicate. Most parents just want to be informed. They want to know what is going on. This is a GOOD THING!!! It means they care for the well-being of their child...just like the youth pastor and leaders do! Therefore, Clearly Communicating Consistently is crucial. Send out email updates, postcards, bulletin announcements, etc. Most parent to youth pastor problems occur because effective communication does not take place.
   
4. Develop Parent Leaders. Plug parents in to leadership!! I am quickly finding that some parents (NOT all or most) will make great youth leaders. At the very least, they are great assets in helping with specific events, fund raising and/or administrative help. We can always use the help!

I know I am not an expert, but considering last Wednesday night, I thought it beneficial to jot down some of what I was thinking.

Thoughts? Comments?

God and Structure

I am in the middle of reading Exodus right now and it hit me: it took time, patience, effort and energy for God to lay down structure, a foundation, and expectations for Israel. We don't immediately have the ten commandments. Passover doesn't occur in Genesis let alone all the other Jewish holidays. Israel does not have their land nor cities until way later in the nations' history. This all took time; God demonstrates incredible patience and diligence when working with His people. That is amazing to me! We live in such an impatient got-to-have-it-yesterday culture that we forget great things take time to develop. I'm talking about Delayed Gratification. We can apply it to any area of our lives: youth ministry, relationships, sex, money, stuff, work, entertainment...anything. For instance, instead of going to get me some fast food, I "pump the brakes" (as one of my students says when referencing some one to slow it down speedracer), take the time, put in some effort and energy, and cook myself a nice healthy meal in the ol' apartment. I am trading something fast and easy that tastes good but isn't that healthy for me, for something that is Best even though it takes a little more time and effort. This must be applied to every part of our lives. I am learning, especially as a new Student Ministries Pastor, that Great things come to those who take one step at a time; do first things first. Sure, it's hard work. Sure, it takes time and patience to lay down structure. Sure, we hate delaying. But in the end, it will be well worth it. God ended up laying the foundation for people all around the globe who call themselves Christ-followers. Imagine what we could accomplish in our communities if we allow Him to guide us into the same practices. I love the old Bill Gates quote (which by the way my Lead Pastor and I quote for me almost daily): "Most people over-estimate what they can achieve in two years and under-estimate what they can accomplish in ten."

I believe God desires to do some great things in our lives and areas of leadership and/or work. They key is to take it one step at a time. We need not get too far ahead of ourselves. God doesn't...AND HE IS GOD! Therefore we shouldn't either. Patience and diligence are key components to success and greatness. I Now Digress.

Ever since returning from a youth minister's conference, I have gone on an accidental "fast" from blogging. Things have been sooooo crazy busy around here I have not even had time to read any blogs let alone write in mine. I am finding that it is so easy to get caught in a whirlwind of tasks that you can forget your priorities (I'm not saying blogging is priority per se). It's easy to let those things that are important slip through the cracks. I am working on avoiding this type of fo paw and taking measures to Do the Important things...that which REALLY matters. First things first and one thing at a time. I am constantly reminding myself of this.

Any ideas? Thoughts?