Sick

As a young, strapping, single, youth pastor, I hate being sick. I hate being sick period...even when I wasn't in this position of leadership. But here is why I hate it even more now:

First, people feel the need to mother me and/or tell me what I need to do or not do......all the time! Now, if you are one of my good friend's or a family member, I tolerate it. But these people do not know me that well. It's like certain people flock toward those who are sick or in pain. It's almost like their drug...they have to be around it. But I did not ask for people's opinions or diagnoses or thoughts on what I am doing wrong; NOR do I like people mothering me. My mom is the only one who get's to do that; I like it when she does it, not those I barely know (to those of you who think this is an attack on you, I GUARANTEE IT IS NOT. I'M JUST VENTING).
Second, I realize how much I miss my family. I miss my mom and her insight and her help. I am a total momma's boy and since moving to Cincinnati I realize how much of a momma's boy I really am!! It's bad!! And oh so good :-)

Anyways, to steal from Mark Driscoll, I'm venting on this here guy because I really can't afford therapy; this blog will just have to do. <3

A lot on the Noggin'

I havn't been sleeping too well the last week or so. I have not fallen asleep as fast as I usually do, especially since I've been exhausted nearly every night this last month, and I have not been sleeping in as long as I usually do. I am going to attribute it all to my mind pulling a "Lightning Mcqueen" the last few weeks. Yes, my mind has been moving at an alarming pace...Thinking about anything and everything. I am natuarlly a "thinker" so I am not too frustrated (yet) but trying to control mind, which is Biblical. Too much thinking can be unhealthy, just as not thinking at all is detrimental, and I want to have a healthy balance. The mind is truly a battlefield!!

So, this is what I did this morning when I got into the office: I usually spend my first hour and a half in the scriptures, worship, devotionals, solitude, journaling, etc. However, this morning I grabbed my USC Trojans pillow off a chair, layed down in the middle of my floor, and rested. This was unique for me since I am so driven, feeling the need to never waste time, to keep busy...to always be doing something. But I was so tired this morning, I felt the need to just "rest in God"; to lay down and hit the PAUSE button before I got started on this busy Wednesday. I didn't fall completely asleep, but that was not the goal. The goal was to do no-thing...to Rest and ask God to refresh me. The goal was to quiet the mind, to lay down every part of me, not just the physical part though I did symbolically. It was truly different for me and will take some getting used to. However, if our minds are a battlefield (and they are) I feel this may be a good exercise for me to participate in every once in a while in order to recalibrate and refresh my thinking. God knows I want to serve Him, but sometimes I am unhealthy in the process of being a follower of Jesus. God, quiet our minds. May we find rest in You.

Slacker

I am a slacker!! I realize that it has been almost two months since I posted last! I figured that is unacceptable, therefore I am going to step my game up.

Enough of that. Something cool happened to me yesterday. I was exiting a typical study session at my Starbucks and as I got into my car a man came up to my window asking for some help. His car ran out of gas and he needed a couple gallons to get to his wife who had his wallet and money. I gave him a 5 and he was on his way. I kid you not, NOT 30 seconds later...AS I'M DRIVING AWAY TO MY APARTMENT, a general manager of TGI Friday's flags me down. He is stranded and needs to get to his car, which is in the shop, a couple exits up the freeway. I have him hop in and help him with the situation! That has NEVER happened to me in my life! Within literally a couple of minutes I was able to help a two stranded guys. I do not believe in coincidences and Jesus' words "...I was a stranger and you welcomed me...as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me" were playing in my mind throughout the whole experience.
I now pray every morning: "God, reveal yourself to me today. Help me to be others-centered and give me an opportunity to show your love." ...I believe He did just that and will continue to do so.

I bit the bullett

I don't like Twitter. I think it is narcissistic in reality and gives people the ability to NOT be socially active, creating socially inept human beings. This is where our society is going...we have complete online worlds, everything you need to be done without leaving your home to interact with any human being. We even have automatic machine cashiers at the grocery store and drive up atm's where you don't have to get out of your car and brush shoulder's with people. That would be inconvenient!!! Therefore, I believe Twitter to be a part, NOT the only reason, of this social breakdown in our digital age. BUT....as a student ministries pastor, it is Great!! What a great way to quickly throw out mass announcements, prayer requests, encouraging words, thoughts on last night's teaching, reminders of upcoming events, and so on. With that said, I bit the bullett and signed myself up, despite my feelings about it. I figure that the idea/challenge is to utilize the technology in order to create social interaction and sweet action community. This is the challenge and I think my youth ministry and I are up for it.

The Distant God part 4

Picking up where I left off a few days ago, the third thing I do is:

3. Lean on God's promises.

God's Word is filled with promises (read the Psalms especially)! When circumstances are tough; when God feels far, I read the Scriptures and concentrate on the promises: He will never leave nor forsake me; God is love; we are more than conqueror's; the Holy Spirit is our helper; God desires to use me; vengeance is His; forgiveness equals freedom. Things like these are ingrained in Scripture! Sometimes, I have to admit, I force myself to read The Word when i am down and God feels....well, when I can't "feel" Him. That's when you see what you are really made of. When you DO things you DON'T "wanna" do. Sometimes we have to "SUCK IT UP" and pray, read, meditate, Sing songs of praise, when we least desire to. I have found that many times God shows up when we do something we don't want to.

When God feels a million miles away, focus on His promises....even if all you feel is apathy and don't want to do a thing.

The Distant God part 3

The Second thing I do when I feel God is a million miles away is:

2. Remember God's Character.

It is easy to forget about the nature of God and WHO HE IS when we don't understand why (or why things aren't) things are going a certain way. We can forget that God is love, He is faithful, He operates outside of time, Vengeance is HIS and HIS alone, His timing is perfect, His forgiveness is genuine, He sent Jesus to be an example to us, suffer, and DIE for us, He states that He will never leave us, He is all-powerful, nothing goes unnoticed with Him, and the list goes on. We can look just about anywhere in scripture and find something descriptive of God's nature.

I often open up the scriptures and just read cool stories of how God rescued people like Daniel, David, Esther, Job, JOSEPH, Moses, Paul, and others. These stories point toward God's nature...His character. I am encouraged because, I believe, if God did it then, who's to say that He can't intervene in my life and situation now? Why can't God show up for me? I am encouraged to know that God has a pretty good track record with keeping His promises; I am encouraged when I shift my focus off of God's distance and onto HIS NATURE. Which is more true: God has forgotten me (nowhere in scripture), OR God is love (in scripture)?

The Distant God part 2

The first thing I do when God feels distant:

1. Hold nothing back.

I let God know how I am feeling. Sometimes I am mad at "His silence" and I let Him know it by "yelling". I know that this is not a particularly popular thing to do and is often times looked down on in the Christian world. But, I look at a lot of The Psalms and notice how frustrated David was; how mad He was at what seemed like God's absence. So, He wrote out, sang, and vented his frustrations. God can take it. He understands that we are emotional beings. I think He created us that way. I think it is better to vent your frustrations at God than yelling and being a jerk to a friend, family member, or stranger......the dog may be good though. They usually just wag their tail while staring at you with their tongue sticking out.
Anyway, I often feel better when venting my frustrations to God. At times, when I am done complaining, that is when God speaks to me. Furthermore, these times tend to shape your character and really reveals a lot about yourself. Do I believe God is big enough to yell at for not showing up? If He is big enough to yell at, do I believe that He is big enough TO SHOW UP? Do I have too many distractions in my life that are keeping me from hearing His voice? What are my motives in regard to my prayers? Questions like these often come to mind when I am frustrated with God. I realize we are all different, but sometimes I just have to authentically let loose and tell God how frustrated I am at His apparent distance.

The Distant God pt. 1 (Intro.)

God feels far sometimes. He feels a million miles away. I am finding this to be a common feeling, especially amongst people who are minister's in some capacity. However, I believe if you call yourself a follower of Jesus, we are going to feel like God left and hasn't come back for a while. Let's face it, God feels long gone sometimes.

This morning at the beginning of my time with the Father, I said, in an audible voice, "I feel like you are sooo far from me God. And I don't know why...but you just feel so distant." With that said, I put on some worship music to try and break through this barrior. I continued to worship and read the scriptures before I opened up my devo (Going through Purpose Driven Life again. I try and do it once a year). Still struggling while at the same time chewing on Jesus's beautiful prayer in John 17, I opened up PDL. Lo and behold, the title of today's reading states, "When God Seems Distant." HAHA!! All I could do is smile. For the next couple of posts (thank you Perry Noble) I am going to talk about the top four things we should do when God feels a million miles away. This was very helpful to me today and though God still feels a little far, I am optimistic.
I conclude on this note: Our feelings are deceiving. We are emotional beings and can at times allow our emotions to dictate what is truth rather than Scripture. Let's not let our feelings (no matter how real they may be) get the best of us. In hard times...during, as St. John of the Cross called it, "the dark night of the soul", remember God hasn't gone anywhere, no matter how we feel (John 14:17-18; Hebrews 13:5.).

Cincinnati and reconciliation

Yesterday my lead pastor, boss, and friend Brad Rosenberg walked into my office with a little bit if "franticness" in his step and asked me to drive to University Hospital with him for a visit. University is right next to the University of Cincinnati (obvious, i know) which is located right next to one of the most dangerous areas of Cincinnati called "Over the Rhine." I have driven through this place a couple of times but yesterday, as I was driving and talking with my boss, I was struck by a dichotomy. While going up a street called Vine, we pass through some dangerous neighborhoods: a women strung out and looking for drugs, a car parked at a stop sign with a guy dealing, people out on their porches packing heat, cops patrolling, etc. As we drive up around a bend toward the hospital, things start looking really nice: young professionals walking around, college students moving from one class to another, mom's walking with children, elderly out for an afternoon stroll, etc. What a dichotomy within only a few miles' stretch!!! I have never really experienced the whole "Black neighborhood", "White trash neighborhood", "Latin neighborhood", and so on. I grew up with everything being a melting pot. The only time segregation occured was because of the gangs.
So, I prayed for a new heart to pump out an overwhelming desire to be a part of racial reconciliation. We need it!!! Every city needs it and the Church (notice the capital "C") must be in the center of the battle. Jesus mingled, befriended, welcomed, and reached out to Samaritans, Greeks, Romans, Jews, women, children, young, and old. Shouldn't we do the same? Shouldn't we be apart of bridging the gap between different cultures, social classes, economic status ethnic, gender, intellect, etc.? I think so. I now digress.

"Hope Fair"

Last night our church conducted its first annual "Hope Fair." We put on what could be understood as a "mini Convoy of Hope", in which we provided dental exams, haircuts, carnival rides, hearing exams, health screenings, giveaways, hot dogs, a prayer tent, bags of groceries, and much more. It was so rewarding for us to see all of the families come and get served by the Church. I am convinced that events like these is close to the heart of God. We are to be a Hospital for the hurting not a country club for the healthy (Mark 2:17). Upward of 500 people came to this event and heard a Gospel presentation while at the same time having their needs met. I look forward to seeing many of the same people sitting in our seats this Sunday morning being fed the Scriptures!!

Words Like Honey

Last night we continued in the series "Drop Some Knowledge", by talking about the power of our words. In many aspects of our lives, we naturally attempt to treat the symptoms of our behavior rather than the root cause of our behavior. The same goes for our words. King Solomon tells us that a wise heart produces kind words that are sweet to the bones and healthy for our bodies. We realized that whatever comes out of our mouths (A symptom) is a direct result of what we contain in our hearts. Jesus proved this point in Matthew chapter 12:34-37 (I encourage you to go and read it for yourself. It's good stuff). There is no doubt in my mind that, just like food and drink, whatever goes into us will come out; whatever we take in through our eyes and ears will manifest itself through our mouth. Therefore, the challenge for us is this: Who or what has my heart? Who does it belong to? When dealing with our words and the life or destruction that we speak with them, it is essential to remember that our hearts are the issue. A wise heart and pleasant words are inextricably connected. It would do us well to never forget that.

iPhone.....

I just purchased an iPhone a couple days ago and I absolutely LOVE it!!! After having my other phone for nearly four years, it kind of feels weird. But it is safe to say that I don't think i'll ever go back. iPhone users...we are spoiled.